Hello Friends,

When I was in high school, I was very involved in my church. So much so that I learned/heard more about church politics than I ever had before or since.  I learned the hard way that church isn’t always rainbows and sunshine.

When I was in high school, my youth leader ended up getting pressured to resign. In my mind (based on what I saw and heard) it was more about the behavior of the “unchurched” kids that came from outside the church.  My youth leader was wonderful at getting new kids to come in, but several of these kids struggled with proper “church behavior” for the lack of a better term.  This led to complaints and other problems that eventually led Rob to resign. I remember being so heartbroken.

Fast forward about 25 years later. A staff member at my current church resigned.  I can’t say that I know details, (I’ve learned my lesson with church politics) but I was devastated.  I spent a couple weeks questioning the integrity and trustworthiness of several people within the church.  At the time, I really struggled with wanting to suspect so many people for “forcing” this resignation.  In hindsight I know this person resigned on their own.  It wasn’t an easy decision but I know it was the right one.

All the feelings that came out in that time were due to old wounds I had from my childhood church.  So, how do we deal with old wounds that resurface? We start by acknowledging the past. Not dwelling on it, not ignoring it but acknowledging there is a past and it was painful.  But we must also remember that we are not dealing with the same people.  The people that pressured Rob to resign, did that on their own. They are not a part of my current church nor do they have anything to do with Neil resigning.  Secondly, the people whose trustworthiness and integrity I was questioning are different people. That may sound obvious, but it still needs to stated. These are two very different sets of people with two very different sets of circumstances.  It is unfair and also unrealistic to compare the two situations or to make assumptions that they are the same.  That being said, by separating the past from the present I was began to feel less pain.  This enabled me to work through the new emotions.  Eventually I was able to put the past back in the past and examine the new situation. Without the past weighing me down I was able to see the new situation more clearly.  I was able to let the old wound heal again and start letting the new one heal also.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭147‬:‭3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Life is hard, there will always be things we don’t understand. But God can help us heal if we let Him.  Don’t get discouraged if an old wound opens back up (I know I felt guilty since I was supposed to be “over it”).  Try to carefully examine why the hurt reopened and see how it may be different from the new wound.  Let the old wound heal again.  Don’t let the situations get jumbled together, you’ll creat a bigger wound.

Pray and ask God for His healing and wisdom.  If you need to, share with someone you trust.  God gave us other people to walk through life together.

I am a follower of Christ, I am not perfect, but I love Jesus.

Until Next Time,

Liz Allen