Hello Friends,

Today was a struggle.  One small, very minor thing left me in bad a mood ALL DAY LONG.  I feel like I work hard to help people.  I sometimes take on too much because I want to help.  If I can save someone time every now and then, I think I SHOULD step in to help.  In my mind, everyone should think that way, but they don't.  So, I was grouchy.  I even googled "How to stop being helpful" and "How to be selfish."  I never actually clicked on any of the results but found it interesting so many articles popped up on how to stop being helpful.  Do I really want to stop being helpful?  No, not really.  To me, that would be denying who God made me to be. 

At prayer meeting tonight, I thought about the church in Revelations, Ephesus, where Jesus is saying "I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance and that you cannot tolerate evil men... and have endured for my name's sake, and have not grown weary.  But I have this against you, that you have left your first love..." what does this mean?  I'm no Bible scholar, I can only tell you my thoughts on what it means, but to me, it means the church of Ephesus was so caught up in DOING that they forgot the WHY.  They did good deeds, they didn't tolerate evil men, they persevered, but they "left [their] first love."  So I ask myself, why do I help people?  I don't think it's so they will like me.  Most people will like me or not, no matter what I do.  Is it so people notice me?  Not exactly, I mean, I don't want to be noticed in a "look at me" kind of way, but maybe in a "I wonder why she's different, I want to know her God" kind of way.  But the truth is, it is exhausting.  Very exhausting.  So tonight, I wondered, have I gotten so wrapped up in being nice, friendly and helpful, that I am starting to miss something?  I'm still praying on that.  Praying for God to show me what He is trying to tell me.  Perhaps I have been so focused on deeds/works (after all the Bible says "Faith without Works is dead") that I forgot the why, and the who.  Perhaps I lost my focus.

Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  

Philippians 2:4 "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others" (I noticed not all translations are the same, but most have at least one, if not both of the portions I put in bold.)

From these two verses, I see this.  We need to take care of ourselves and love ourselves. How can we love others as ourselves if we do not show love to ourselves?  We cannot support others, when we ourselves are on empty.  So sometimes, it is OK to put ourselves first.  Eat and drink the spiritual nourishment God has provided.  Doing so makes you more able to love and serve others.   

I hope you are doing well friends, that you are allowing yourselves to be filled with the Spirit so you can go and share with others.  If you feel empty, stop and ask yourself why you may feel that way.  Pray and ask God to show you.  Ask God to fill you up.   I don't have all the answers, but He does.  Remember, even Jesus went off by Himself to pray.  He wasn't "on" 24/7.  He took time to Himself, and so can we.  We just need to focus on Jesus and remember He is the reason we do what we do.  He is our Anchor.

I am a follower of Christ, I am not perfect, but I love Jesus.

Until Next Time,

Liz Allen