Hello Friends,

This morning in church, Pastor David spoke about how important it is for the church body to encourage one another and be in contact with each other even outside of church.  He mentioned the statistics on how much church attendance in general (not just our church) has dropped since the beginning of Covid.  He mentioned that when he talked to people who decided to leave our church, several mentioned they missed a couple weeks and no one reached out, so they decided they were not missed and they did not come back.  Have you ever wondered if you would be missed if you missed church for a few weeks?  I'll be honest, I have.  At a couple former churches especially.  I get that others may have felt alone.  Perhaps they saw others in the church in groups and felt left out.  Perhaps, like me, they don't necessarily fit into a group (everyone my age is married with kids, and I'm single and have no children).  I most definitely can understand the feeling of not belonging.  I can also understand that it can be hard to notice if someone isn't there.  We get so caught up in our own lives, or our own "people" that it can be hard to stop, look around, and see if we can notice someone missing.  I also know if someone doesn't sit near us, it's also more difficult to notice their absence.  For example, until recently I sat in the front right corner of the church.  My church has three sections of pews.  I can easily see those who sit in the front where I sat, and in the front middle section (where I have claimed a new seat), and perhaps a few seats behind.  But what about those in the far back of the Sanctuary?  Since they aren't behind me I can't see them easily, let alone know when they are not there.  Some of them even slip out as soon as church is over.  But, that's why we are a BODY of believers.  One person can't do it all.  We ALL have to pay attention and reach out to those around us.  What's that saying... "Teamwork makes the dreamwork"?  We need to work together to show each other the love and support we ALL need.  We need to let others know we care (like the story of Sandra a few months back).  It's hard, because you never know if the person who is absent is on vacation, sick, or if there is something else going on in their life.  If you're like me, you don't know what to say to people you don't know well.  You may feel awkward to just cold call them to let them know they were missed.  But don't you feel good when someone calls you just to check in?  If someone says "Hey, you missed church and I just wanted to make sure you are ok?"  It shows compassion, it shows they care, and most of all, it shows you are not alone.  

Cold Calls of Compassion, are an easy way to let people know you care, and I'm starting to find it easier to converse with others in this manner.  Here are a few tips to follow to help with conversation.

Start by calling the number, and referring to the person by name and tell them who you are. (Example:  "Hello Ann?  This is Liz from church, I missed seeing you today (or Sunday) and just wanted to call and check on you.  How are you doing?"

If the person says they are sick, you could ask if they need anything from the store (but be willing to run to the store after work if they do).  If they say yes, just let them know you work until a certain time and you'll run out afterwards.  If they say no, you can tell them to let you know if they change their mind.  Then, you tell them "Well, I don't want to keep you, I know you need your rest" and you can usually make a "quick exit" that way.  Or if you don't have time to run an errand for them, you can just say you're sorry they are sick and you hope they feel better, then get off.

If the person says they had unexpected company... if the company is still there, say oh great, I'll let you go so you can visit.  If the company is gone, ask how the visit went, if good, listen for a while then say I'm so glad you had a nice visit and you're doing ok, I'll let you go and see you in church next week.  If it wasn't a great visit, say I'm sorry to hear that, do you need to talk about it?  Then either listen or say Well, I won't keep you, I just wanted you to know you were missed (depending on what they say).

If they were on vacation, you could ask about their trip, or just say, "oh, I didn't realize that.  Where'd you go?" Followed by "I'm glad you are doing alright, I can let you go and see you next Sunday"

If you don't get a straight answer, but get the feeling they need to talk, ask about their family.  Most people (especially women) love talking about their family.  My biggest go to is asking about the kids or siblings depending on the person.  

The important thing is to help people feel seen and heard, whether they are at church or not.  We need to encourage each other and show compassion.  Please let me know if you need any encouragement by using the contact form.

I am a follower of Christ, I am not perfect, but I love Jesus.

Until Next Time,

Liz Allen